This is not something i planned on when i was younger. It’s not something I’d wish for anyone to have to contend with. It’s what i was dealt, and what i have to learn each day to live with. I’m not lazy. I’m the opposite. I have to work inconcievably hard just to appease my brain each day, so then i can concentrate on actually working hard on visable things.
I agree from the outside. I don’t appear to do much. I go shopping, visit my parents, go on walks with friends, sometimes take pictures, go to my meetings, go to group. I know from most people’s perspective i seem to have the easiest life. No worries, no pressure. It’s simply not true.
My life seems easy, probably because i can’t manage huge things. I couldn’t face working 9 hours a day. I couldn’t survive running a house. I would drown with these sort of responsibilies on top of those i already have to contend with.
If one person sees this, and it changes their perspective on me, or anyone else who has mental health problems… then good. This topic is something that really makes me feel terrible. The idea of people thinking I’m lazy, that my family have spoilt me, and that i just need a kick up the backside is awful, because that’s so far from the truth.
I work damn hard every day to function, even the small amount i do. I’ve come far, from being that 18 year old that couldn’t leave the house. I just wish people could see that. See that i do try every day.