Untitled poem – Part one.

Second guessing is in my nature.
With anxiety as my navigator.
I am second in command.
Will this excursion go as planned?

Uncharted territory.
My personal pergatory.
I’m vastly surrounded.
Struggle to stay grounded.

My brain as a compass.
I’m at an impass.
It’s slightly unbalanced.
When left unchallenged.

Searching for north.
Unable to go forth.
Gates emerge.
I’m on the verge.

Freedom is near.
But my hopes dissappear.
The compass takes me south.
Directly into hell’s mouth.

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6 thoughts on “Untitled poem – Part one.

  1. Hi Robyn.
    You have asked for comments on your poem.
    So I’m going to be honest.
    I thought the rhyming couplets of each stanza
    were contrived and forced. They did not flow.
    I’ve rewritten the first two stanzas as I would have written them,
    keeping as close as I can to your original poem.

    Second guessing, that’s my nature
    and anxiety is the only navigator.
    I’m the second in command,
    please God, let this journey go as planned.

    I travel dark uncharted territory
    I’m drowning, sinking in my own purgatory.
    By red demons dark, I’m surrounded.
    Help me Lord, to stay grounded.

    I have no wish to cause offence, so please just
    delete my comments.

    Just trying to help,

    Alan.

    Like

    1. Thanks for your honesty. I too felt they were forced. I dont usually rhyme. I just write as i feel. Its had getting to rhyme, make sense and flow. It was an interesting test but for now i might just stick to my natural poetry without trying so hard to get the rhyming thing to work. Thanks again for your input it was really helpful! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Your content is heartfelt and I love it! As a lifelong “poet”, I have found that unrestricted free verse works best with me. I rarely rhyme the ends of lines with a ton of structure. Internal rhymes work just as well. Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I usually write in free verse these days i always used to feel people wouldnt get the poem if it was just a collection of words. But i really do prefer it rather than trying to get it to rhyme. It feels like im pushing something that isnt there if that makes sense. It flows freely when i dont limit myself to rhyming. I used to think my poetry was only good if it rhymed i do see now though that isnt so true! So thankyou for your comment I’m going to try to write more poetry. I really like it. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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