Opening up – Can we make this an honest, supportive, strong, safe community?

I post different things on here. Each piece i write is more or less connected to me that the last. What i mean to say is, some pieces are deep and i feel like I’ve poured my soul out onto the page in order to create them. I’ve dug within me to the darkest places, the places people don’t see nor understand, and I’ve shared them. It’s these posts that worry me though. For if people do not like them, in essence they don’t like me. As that post basically is me in writing form.

Other posts i invest less emotion in. Don’t get me wrong i invest in all of my pieces. Some are just general though, conveying anxiety and depression in a way i know most can connect with. Sharing ideas and feelings, that i know most people who read this blog have experienced. The posts where i open up and include personal experiences, (ones that i often hide in my real life) are the issue. I’m not sure so many people can relate to these as they’re not so commonly spoken about.

My “embarrassing” posts shall i call them, as i feel they’re not so acceptable as other topics to discuss, include some pretty awkward facts. They’re unpleasant and sometimes uncomfortable to read. I could write poems to explain how i feel. These other, grittier, real life posts though… they’re truest to me.

If people think I’m wrong for being brutally honest about how depression and anxiety affects me. Well i guess that’s okay, but i don’t think I’m wrong, and judging by the comments I’ve recieved on my previous post… people seem to like this honest approach. I felt so scared about opening up. Fearing that because it’s about things that not everyone talks about when mentioning mental illness. It’s not the obvious sadness and loneliness, it might not be what people feel comfortable reading about.

For so long i have debated. I thought people would think I’m lazy, I’m gross, or plainly just messed up, for both mentioning these topics and also actually experiencing them. I’m going to see the response the more “embarrassing” posts get. Depending on the outcome, I’ll decide whether or not to include posts that tell of my personal experiences more often.

Anyone can feel free to comment whatever they wish. Do not get me wrong I’m not trying to prevent people from having their opinions. I’m not warning people to not comment, infact I’d highly appreciate your input! I simply just need to gauge people’s thoughts on the content i post. I don’t want to share intimate and personal moments, if people aren’t interested. If people would just prefer the more acceptable/relateable content i understand.

It’s just if i can help one person by opening up about something uncomfortable and embarrassing, then I’m okay in doing so. As not only would it help them, it helps me in knowing I’m not alone. I often feel so alienated. Explaining thought processes, and the actions you take due to how your brain functions, is so hard more often than not to explain to everyday people. People that are lucky enough not to have to go through these things every day. The adaptations people who suffer from any mental illness make to be able to survive, and also the sacrifices.

I want this blog to have no feelings of shame, and no negativity… ironic i know since it’s about depression. I mean in the sense of no one will be judged, and if anyone can find help here then I’m happy. I’ve achieved my goal. I don’t want to be ashamed anymore. I’ve lost so many friendships because i couldn’t explain that i need to go to the toilet multiple times before leaving the house, or I’m late because i sat screaming at myself because I’m not normal. I’m different, and i want to try and allow myself to feel comfortable with that. I can make this a safe space where no one has to feel left out. Everybody feels accepted and warrented. We all function differently, we all cope in our own ways and that’s magical. We adapt and survive. It’s beautiful to see how people have soldiered on and come out stronger than ever. All stories and questions are welcome. I want to be able to break down the embarrassment and the feelings of shame we might sometimes feel.

I’ve gone on enough, I’m just passionate about this. I will reply to every comment made on this blog. I want to give myself more purpose. I want to do something good. I also want to help myself, discussing mental health with others who understand is my best way of doing that. So here’s to honesty, safety, comfort, support. I really need a focus in my life and i want this to be it.

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20 thoughts on “Opening up – Can we make this an honest, supportive, strong, safe community?

  1. Well I’m looking forward to reading more, to reading the embarrassing blogs. Because believe you me, we’ve all got them … it’s just whether or not we’re prepared to put ourselves out there and be brave enough to acknowledge that sometimes, maybe someone will say something negative. I’ve told of a few of mine, and perhaps they come across as a little humorous sometimes, but that’s just me trying to find the humour in my mental state and trying to put a lighter note on it for fear of someone laughing at me. We all have faults and foibles. I have many. Here’s one …. I hate breathing in the air when I’ve just walked past someone in the street. It’s a germ thing I think. Imagine then how difficult it was last year when I joined the Glasgow Dash (a 5k run through the city with about ten thousand other runners all dressed up as Father Christmas). How on earth does one hold ones breath for 5 kilometres? You see, I’m a little odd I fear. Thank you for sharing, and fear not, I will never criticise. ☀️☀️

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    1. Youve actually given me a great idea. I have so mainly cringe worthy awkward things that i do cos of my anxiety. And they really do sound odd but i really feel its just gonna make people laugh if i share it 😃. I think i too might write posts in a humorous way sometimes too. I think sometimes its easier to do that, i agree if i say the mean stuff in a mocking way about myself others can’t do it. I get that. As for the holding your breath thing. Theres a few things i do that seem really silly but they seem necessary, no matter how odd or silly they may seem. Thankyou for this comment, i think i have some solid ideas for an upcoming post now! X

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  2. We have similar desires, and I hope that we are both successful in our healing and our future ventures. I have found that the biggest barrier between myself and the man I wish to be, is monetary. I have the will to heal and move on, and I know exactly what I wish to do to fulfill my part of building said community, but I have no means of obtaining the vehicle and gear required to make that happen. I feel silly even saying this, but I placed a Paypal donate tab on my blog and created a Patreon page for my poetry, sort of a shot in the dark, hoping the universe will hear my cry of desperation and hope that somewhere out there the human spirit yet survives beyond corporate consumerism and organized religious schemes.

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    1. I understand that. I have no money for to put into this. I have ideas and i shall write them down. Be positive and humourous and maybe sometimes a little morbid. But mostly i just want to share my writing and help myself and others by sharing stories and listening to theirs. I hope you succeed in your venture! You sound like you have a good hearted plan. I wish you the best. As you said the best you can do is hope! Keep trying x

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  3. The thing I find about the WordPress community is that they don’t judge and they appreciate honesty. Like yourself, I have been honest and open about my mental health struggles and how I feel and truly cope with them. Everybody here has been supportive and kind, whether they have been through it or not themselves. I feel like this is a safe place to share my thoughts where I wouldn’t in my “real life” and it’s a bonus for me because writing helps me cope. I haven’t read any of your other posts yet, but when I do I am sure I’ll appreciate that you’re being true to yourself. This is your space, express yourself however you see fit.

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    1. I’m similar. Writing is therapeutic for me. Me and my friend were discussing the other day how supportive and positive the community on here is. She watches a lot of youtube and she said creators on there face a lot of negativity. I am so so grateful that wordpress has none of this, or none that i have encountered atleast. Everyone has been so pleasant and supportive! I feel i can write how i feel and nobody is going to be mean or discouraging. Its been a positive decision in my life, choosing to share my stories on here! Thankyou for your comment i will have a read through your posts when i get home later tonight. I’m sure i will enjoy them x

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      1. I wouldn’t expect you to get through them all, there are a lot! hehe. I have been on WordPress for over a year now and have had nothing but great experiences, so I think this is definitely a good place for you to be yourself. 🙂

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    1. I agree. The reason i feel embarrassed about most things is because i feel others will think I’m odd, or they will laugh because they wont understand. My aim is to share these things that embarrass me so i feel less odd. I believe inturn i wont feel as embarrassed in time about these things. X

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  4. Amen, sister! The more we talk about it, the less of a stigma, because we begin to normalize it and realize we’re not the only one who feels this way. I salute your bravery!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thats my plan! I just want to show that everyone can open up about these things. I’m going to start doing it and hopefully it will encourage others to do so. Or atleast reading my posts will make others feel more accepted or comfortable. Because i know when i read someones post and i relate to it,it makes me feel part of a team almost. Thankyou, i dont think im brave, i just feel this is something i have to do to ensure depression and anxiety dont win. I dont plan on letting that happen. But thankyou for saying i am. Thats really reasurring! X

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  5. I started a blog and an Instagram page a couple of months ago and I felt the exact same way! I felt like I was going to be incredibly judged. This was also the first time that I was trying to figure out exactly who I was and be true to myself. What ended up happening was amazing!! I found the support that I needed and was able to talk to like-minded people 🙂 I ended up finding my purpose and am now employed and on an amazing path in the right direction!

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    1. I find my family are my biggest support. Like i can do so much stuff when im with them that i couldnt dream of doing alone. Id just crumble. Im glad you have that support though. Wherewver it comes from. The fact its there is what matters! X

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