It’s been a while. I’ve contemplated coming back for some time. I planned on writing why I’ve been absent. For as long as i can remember I’ve wanted to blog. Maybe though, i need to be a little less negative and more bright and hopeful instead.
I love that i have the ability to capture, describe, and explain something in a way that expresses it clearly, respectfully and honestly to people. But seriously i need brightness. I need lighter things in my life. I am so proud of how well i can portray the low times. Showcasing the lonely things in my life. I’m beyond happy that doing so helps others. However sometimes, it doesn’t help me.
To combat this I’m going to be exploring my mental health in a different light. Maybe there will be deeper, more upsetting posts… but for me, right now i need to focus on the positives.
Sharing my scariest and more disheartening moments online was a brave thing for me to do. I found comfort in it. It was a safety net, my support. I discovered great people through doing so. I felt a sense of community. I felt less alienated. I love encouraging people and opening up about my experiences as to reassure others.
That said i need something new. Moving onwards, seeing the good in life. Allowing myself to see things from a more promising perspective. Favouring an optimistic view in contrast to my previous vivid, yet somewhat distressing and cynical posts.
My posts will still be vivid. Hopefully so, i just need something. I have yet to explain the reasons behind my temporary leave. I may do in time. I will say this, it makes it difficult for me to write sometimes, as i feel i can’t use certain words. This vagueness may become clear in time. For now i can’t quite describe it. I just felt i should write something. So this is me writing as best i can.