The amount of weight that lies within each decision. It feels the easiest option is to just opt out. Not make the decision. Elude it. For each choice i commit to has an outcome that will in turn have an impact on something else… I read into each consequential action that could occur by making a resolution.
Scrutinising. Analysing the ramifications of each choice is catastrophic. It’s imperative that i come to a conclusion for each decision residing in my mind. Crushed beneath the importance of it all. It’s both unimaginable and unexplainable, but nonetheless crucially and painfully present.
It’s just too much. The overbearing significance of each selection that is presented to me for careful consideration, antagonises me. Too much pressure, too much doubt. I sit and will myself. I attempt to be pro active. To find a slither of motivation. I just can’t.
One final decision; i must succumb to the hopelessness. I relax, feel the last bit of self worth and dignity leave my body. For if i do not agree to this i will surely submit to the pressure, and suffocate in options and decisions. I feel myself slump back into my bed, i just give up. Evading and hiding once more. Safe for another day.